After my recent high school reunion, I have found myself thinking about the old days when I lived in Galena Park. It was a place where my life began, memories were made, where I fell in love and gave birth to my children. But it is also a place that brings up memories of my mom and dad.
Today marks 20 years since my mom passed away. My first child was only five weeks old when she died and I honestly did not know which way was up. What was supposed to be a joyful time was plagued with tremendous grief. I needed her so much! Not just to help me figure out what to do with a newborn baby, but to tell me about my brother and hemophilia! Oh, how I ached for her. I still do.
Some days I cry for her because her loss in my life at such a young age was truly devastating. But today I am smiling and laughing as I think of her. The silly things we would laugh at, her ugly, peach “house dress,” and how lipstick and perfume would fix a face without a trace of makeup as well as uncombed hair.
I feel like a lifetime has passed since she died. A lifetime has happened even in the 10 years I have lived in New Mexico. When I went back to Houston, it just wasn’t the same. I drove around different areas of town to see old homes and places that were special and they had indeed changed. I wasn’t expecting everything to be the same, but it’s as if I felt like a huge chapter in my life had truly closed.
When I look back on the loss of my mom, I can see God at work in my life. He never left my side through the diagnosis of hemophilia, through my dad’s illness, or through the loss of other family members. He did put Minnie in my life, my mom’s best friend, who I remain close to today. God led me and my husband on a journey in ministry that blessed me with church families who stepped in for us in every way possible. So many people have been in our lives and loved us well as we lived the life we were intended to live in New Mexico.
Sometimes I feel my mom’s presence when I make certain foods and smell their aromas. Other times I feel her presence when I am talking to Minnie about what is going on in my life. And I like to think she may have had a little something to do in encouraging my friendship to Evonne, who is teaching me to sew. I think it makes her happy to see me moving along in my life and allowing others to love on me and my family.
Mama, you taught me well. I miss you.
Today I Am Thankful For:
- peaches
- quilts
- the smell of rain
- tears
- memories
