The past few weeks have been very busy. One week I was in Missouri for a speaking engagement and catching up with friends, the next week I spent with my friend of a lifetime, relaxing and catching up in Texas and then I went to Florida for training. I am now part of a team of speakers that travel across the country speaking to groups about bleeding disorders. It’s a consultant type of position, not a ton of money, but doing what I love to do.
So, here I am, one of four new people on a team of over 25. I only know one person before I get there so the weekend is filled with meeting new people, and for me, that is very overwhelming. We were treated very well (and were never hungry) and I had not a single thing to complain about. But the second night we were together, we were at a fantastic restaurant. I had a pork chop in front of me that had to have come straight from heaven, when I suddenly felt a heaviness cover me.
All of a sudden I realized I was the new kid. I wasn’t on a team that I had been on for over 13 years any longer. As I was eating I fought back the tears that were brimming in my eyes because I desperately missed my old team. I had been the person left who was on the original team and had seen many people come and go, but despite personnel changes over the years, we remained close. We truly felt like family even though we were spread across the country.
I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy meeting my new colleagues, I just didn’t realize that I am still dealing with the loss and grief of losing my family…not my job, my family.
We are all only a text, email or phone call away, but the truth is that what we had was very special and in the corporate world, not common. I’m glad I was a part of them and I am looking forward to moving on, but the pain is still very real.
When your family comes from places you least expect, those relationships are often extra special. And when the family “breaks up” for reasons out of your control, you have to work even harder to keep those people close. I am blessed to have so many people in my life that I consider family. I may not talk to them daily, but they are in my heart and having known them has made me a better person.
Today I Am Thankful For:
- New clothes
- An early shower
- The MacDonald Fajita Feast!
- My son singing in church
- Slimy tennis balls
