Originally published by Bloodstream Media, November 24, 2021
When the pandemic began, I lived in a small Texas town three-and-a-half hours from the big city. My doctor, therapist, and support system were now far away. Knowing that my time in small-town Texas would be brief, when I first moved there, I committed to traveling the distance to stay with my providers. With the restrictions placed upon society, going to the doctor became difficult. I was concerned about keeping my monthly appointment with my pain doctor.
My monthly pain doctor’s appointment is critical because I am handed my prescription for daily pain medication. State laws regarding opioids make obtaining prescription pain medication difficult. There are no refills or extra pills prescribed. How is this going to work in a pandemic?
Instead of being seen inside the clinic, the doctor began seeing patients “drive-thru” style. Patients will park at the curb, stay in their vehicle, and the doctor and his assistant come to the window donning masks and protective equipment from head to toe. A few pleasantries are exchanged, vitals are checked, and assurance is given that the prescription is on its way to the pharmacy. This takes approximately five minutes. It feels like an illicit drug deal. At least I am only forty minutes away instead of a seven-hour round trip.
A big life event came during the pandemic, and my family moved back to New Mexico. I did not have time to think about my pain. Too much needed to be done. Trying to keep a healthy balance with the physicality of moving was not easy. I did well physically because I listened to my body and stepped back often. Being cautious proved to be highly beneficial for my health.
Along with the move to New Mexico, I started a new job in a new career. The stress in my life increased exponentially. I quickly realized that keeping my stress at a healthy level was necessary for my pain. When I began to work longer and harder hours without a break, my pain levels rose. I soon found that keeping to a more relaxed schedule that allowed for breaks was key to my success. I am fortunate to have this ability.
I am learning to pace myself. Every day I am faced with numerous tasks and goals, and when I complete my list, I count the day as victorious. Some days I begin with another ambitious list and not one thing is completed by the time I go to sleep. Pain can control my life. It can dictate my day to the point that even just breathing is difficult. When two or three days line up one after the other and pain ravages my body non-stop, a day that is spent in bed, in and out of consciousness from pain, is counted as a success.
The pandemic allowed me to look at my pain with my eyes wide open. When lockdown began, I was afraid of not getting my pain medication on schedule. I am thankful my doctors worked quickly, amid pandemic restrictions, to ensure their patients received their regular care. While I was concerned that my pain would be out of control during quarantine, I learned that I have the tools necessary to help me live an empowered life during and through my pain. I may never find a cure for what causes my pain, and after two neck surgeries, I know the chance of finding a long-term solution is minimal. Instead of seeing pain as an enemy, I try to see it as a prickly, nosy neighbor.
I can deal with a prickly neighbor. I may even ignore their intrusion on my life and count this neighbor as a nuisance. Putting my pain in perspective helps me get through each day.
The constraints of COVID have taught me about the important things in life. Going out to eat, traveling, and gathering in large groups is not what brings me joy. I did learn that sometimes the regular, mundane activities of daily life are physically difficult. COVID gave me the gift of slowing down, and when my pain had my undivided attention, I learned to listen to my body.
Some days are better than others. When I count more good days than bad ones, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. And when the bad days come, I do my best to use my tools to help me get through each painful moment. Coming out on the other side of the worst that pain brings is a victory.
May we all be overwhelmed with victorious days.
