Nineteen years ago I became a mom. My beautiful boy came screaming into my life and I have never been the same. I knew that life would change, I just had no idea how much.
Not only did I endure sleepless nights, diaper changes and all of the typical “having a newborn for the first time in your life” kind of stuff, but my Julian was diagnosed with severe Hemophilia and my mother passed away five weeks later. The bottom fell out of my world.
God definitely knew what He was doing. The timing seemed to be awful but it was truly perfect.
Julian saved me.
Losing my mother right after my first child was born was not even a thought. How in the world would I survive this loss?
Julian saved me.
I had to be his mommy. The world did not stop because of my loss and extreme sadness. Julian needed me and I had to show up.
What in the world was hemophilia? Was he going to live? Needles, infusions, ports and inhibitors….my head was spinning as I walked in a fog. Not only was I a working mom, but now I was a working mom to a child with a chronic illness. I had no clue what to do, but I was not going to let anything harm my son. I would do everything I could to help him.
But he was helping me. He was saving me.
I have never laughed the way I laugh when he and I are together! My husband simply shakes his head and says he doesn’t want to know why we are laughing, because more often than not we are laughing at the craziest of things. We have this amazing bond that I never dreamed I would have with him.
He is the only person who can say something that hurts my feelings or sends me into a rage at the drop of a hat but who I forgive completely without holding a grudge.
I have learned to love in a way I never dreamed.
Every step he takes on this earth is the same as my heart putting one foot in front of the other.
I absolutely adore you, Julian.
Happy Birthday.
