Tonight I am winding down on the fifth night of a hospital stay with my 8 year old, “Christian”. The snow is coming down outside, blanketing the streets and rooftops of the buildings around us. It’s as if the snow is covering up the messiness of the day as we move into what I am hoping will be a peaceful night of rest. But earlier today it was not peaceful. When I walked out of our room early this morning in search of a cup of coffee, things did not feel right. I saw one of the doctors we know well already at work with her brow wrinkled, focused on the computer a couple of doors away. Then I noticed some nurses and staff members present on the floor, in street clothes, obviously not on duty.
A boy was dying. Three doors away from us.
There was a flurry of people going in and out of the room. And a couple of nurses who were never far from his door.
It was a day filled with sorrow on the floor. No one had to talk about what was going on, you could just feel what was happening. I stayed in our room and sent prayers down the hall for the mother, the father, the loved ones surrounding this young man’s bed. A few hours had passed and I walked out of the room and saw a man in a suit with a gold nametag outside of the door preparing to take the body away, and I heard a woman sobbing.
He was gone.
I didn’t know this family but I wanted nothing more than to run and find this woman and hold her! I almost couldn’t stand how I felt….but why? I didn’t know this family…I didn’t know the boy…but I did know that I could not imagine what it would be like to lose a child…like my mother did.
Tonight I enjoyed a few games of Chinese checkers with my son. I took him to the window to watch the snow fall. And I thanked God like I never have before that I can hold my children.
And then it snowed.
Today I Am Thankful For
- compassionate nurses
- tears
- a visit from a friend
- prayers
- snow
