Last night, as I was walking out of the UNM Children’s Hospital, the wind had picked up quite a bit (part of New Mexico living). The canopy over the entrance was whipping around pretty violently as the wind came at me full force. People were busy coming in to visit loved ones, rushing to the emergency room to meet their family members and the life flight helicopter was landing on top of the building. It was in that moment that I realized most of the people that evening were probably dealing with a crisis of some magnitude. Yes, I am sure there were families welcoming in their new babies into the world and others celebrating the successful end of treatment, but for the most part some kind of crisis must have brought most individuals into the hospital this night.
I was leaving, for the first night since Saturday, to go home and sleep in my own bed. I was a casualty of crisis just like all of the other people I was noticing. I have become so accustomed to living at a heightened level of anxiety and stress that being surrounded by the hospital and all it brings is “normal”. It hardly even phases me.
There was a day that I thought I was going to completely fall apart. It was ugly. I was not at my best, I was alone because my husband was extremely sick, I was handling things on my own and I didn’t think I would make it. The only thing that kept me going was that I was breathing. Some people say that they get through a crisis one day at a time. Others one “treatment” at a time.
But what I have come to understand is that sometimes one breath at a time is all I can do, and that is enough.
And God has never left me because with each breath I know that He has purpose for me in this world and that He is not done with me yet.
Today I Am Thankful For:
- Windy days
- Being able to express myself
- Animal crackers
- Allergy medication
- Fuzzy blankets
