Holding it together is exhausting.
Today my little boy had surgery and I had not “felt” anything. I knew this port placement was necessary, everything was in place, and we were moving forward. I had been moving on instinct and logic and my heart had not taken over…until today.
I stood in the hallway of the operating room with my husband two hours into a three and a half hour operation (that I thought would only last one hour) and realized I had absolutely no control.
And it completely took my breath away. My heart stopped for a moment when I realized the surgeons would have to make decisions at the last minute to best benefit my son and I did not know what those decisions would look like in our everyday lives.
What I had to do was surrender.
I needed to completely fall back on to the One who created me.
And let go and trust in the Creator who blessed me with the amazing creature that was on the operating table.
Trust with sheer abandon that no matter what the outcome that the Lord, God Almighty would get me through whatever came my way.
The act of surrender comes easier at some times compared to others but in actuality it is what we must do to be in the presence of God.
Today I Am Thankful For:
- Chocolate ice cream
- Heating pads
- Long iPad chargers
- Warm blankets
- blood return
