For the past six weeks something has not been right. My family is all good, work is good, but my neck has not been good. It has been getting worse and I have been going to the doctor, the chiropractor, physical therapy and therapeutic massage.
Over the Thanksgiving holiday I had to go the emergency room for x-rays and last weekend I missed two parties hosted in my home as I was in bed. Today my MRI lasted for 90 minutes without sedation….something I will never do again, and it rattled me all day long.
You go into this tube that completely surrounds you and you are instructed to breathe slowly. Your arm falls asleep the music you selected is not loud enough to drown out the banging, clicking and clanking on the machines and the repeated hammering of sounds elevates your blood pressure despite the prayers and scriptures that run screaming through your mind.
And all the while you are thinking, what is happening to me? What do I need to do differently? I’m only 46 years old? What if there is nothing that can be fixed? Will I always be in pain?
It’s those “what if’s” that will do you in every time.
I am so glad that during those very, very long 90 minutes of my morning I decided to focus on the One who created me. I paraphrased scripture like I never have before! It was quite interesting…..I’m sure God got a good laugh from me today 🙂
I prayed, I breathed, I did the best I could but the important thing is that I knew where to run. I had no question. I felt relief like I’ve never felt when I was pulled out of that machine with a breath that was refreshing and filling.
Whatever is causing the problem may be big or even made up in my head, but what I know more sure than ever is that God is going to take care of me like He always has. I am not going to fear what I don’t know.
I trust in Him completely.
Today I Am Thankful For:
- Cold water
- Colored pencils
- High density foam cushions
- Colored Christmas lights
- Dinner made by a friend
