I am still weary.
After a few days off from work and family responsibilities, I turned off the notifications on my phone and attempted to rest. It was not easy. I then realized that there was something I was not doing.
I am not surrendering.
Surrender is my word for 2024, and it is not going very well. I am working hard every day in hospice and am drained. The problem is that I am not filling my soul as I have too many irons in the fire. I thought that putting Devotions in the Desert on hold would help, but it is obviously not enough.
My life has changed dramatically, moving from pastoral ministry to chaplaincy, and I am giving 100% of myself. I am feeling the weight of my work and must learn to manage myself in a healthy way. Otherwise, I will have nothing to give.
Grace, Cazandra, grace.
Like many of you, I am able to offer grace at the drop of a hat, but it is not as easy to give grace to ourselves. Why do we do this?
Oh my goodness, Beloved, I feel I am not the only one guilty of not offering grace to myself. In the United Methodist tradition, we are taught about the means of grace: prevenient, justifying, and sanctifying grace. I think I need to revisit the means of grace. More to come.
Just because I am on track to ordination does not mean I am a perfect example of what it means to be a Christ follower. I try my best each day to be the hands and feet of Christ in the world, but sometimes, I give so much that I am empty.
Does that sound familiar?
It will take some more time to contemplate what is most important and find ways to give myself grace in my personal and professional life. I encourage you to do the same. How do we do this?
One breath at a time.
Grace and peace to you all (and to myself),
If you want to catch past episodes of Devotions in the Desert, visit SPUMC Socorro on YouTube or my channel, Cazandra Campos-MacDonald. Please subscribe!
